My father just celebrated his 92nd birthday this past Thursday. Until two years ago, he still did what he loves best: work. For the past forty years he has been practicing law, first in an office in Tel Aviv and then in an office at home. As a child, I remember my Aba always in his office at the back of the house. Writing fiercely, sorting papers into files and piling them into what looked like towers on his big wooden desk. He was always working. Only during meals, my mother would make him stop and join the family. We would eat and talk and laugh, but the moment the meal was done he was gone again.
Now that the majority of us are home all day long, I can’t help but wonder about my own role as an Aba. The shift to distance learning was rapid and demanding. Learning new technology, creating new schedules and structures, and supporting our teachers, students and families in adjusting to this new reality. That’s a lot of work! My son is knocking on my door again. He cracks the door open and tells me, his face smiling, “it’s recess." Can you come play basketball with me?”
How do I respond to him? How can I explain the emails, requests and needs of our community right now? How do I strike the balance between caring for others and caring for my own family at times when personal and work life intertwine into one? There is no one answer or even right answer to these questions. Each family has its own circumstances and unique ways of coping with its needs.
In our household, my wife, Jessica, created a master schedule with everyone’s zoom sessions, Tefillah times, meals, breaks and even a daily 2-3 miles run before the beginning of the school day! But even with all the planning, structures and good intentions, each day unfolds differently, and what remains central (and probably what will remain when all this passes and we are back to normal) is how to maintain our family values despite these challenges. Am I able to remain kind and have patience? Do I have the courage to stay calm and regulated? Can I keep in mind my love for my children and my care for my community with every decision I make throughout the day? I can only try.
As we enter Shabbat, I invite you to remind yourselves about your family values and discuss as parents how you can bring these values forward as you find the balance that works for you.
Now that the majority of us are home all day long, I can’t help but wonder about my own role as an Aba. The shift to distance learning was rapid and demanding. Learning new technology, creating new schedules and structures, and supporting our teachers, students and families in adjusting to this new reality. That’s a lot of work! My son is knocking on my door again. He cracks the door open and tells me, his face smiling, “it’s recess." Can you come play basketball with me?”
How do I respond to him? How can I explain the emails, requests and needs of our community right now? How do I strike the balance between caring for others and caring for my own family at times when personal and work life intertwine into one? There is no one answer or even right answer to these questions. Each family has its own circumstances and unique ways of coping with its needs.
In our household, my wife, Jessica, created a master schedule with everyone’s zoom sessions, Tefillah times, meals, breaks and even a daily 2-3 miles run before the beginning of the school day! But even with all the planning, structures and good intentions, each day unfolds differently, and what remains central (and probably what will remain when all this passes and we are back to normal) is how to maintain our family values despite these challenges. Am I able to remain kind and have patience? Do I have the courage to stay calm and regulated? Can I keep in mind my love for my children and my care for my community with every decision I make throughout the day? I can only try.
As we enter Shabbat, I invite you to remind yourselves about your family values and discuss as parents how you can bring these values forward as you find the balance that works for you.
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